If ever you find someone online who goes like "NATALIE PORTMAN IS TOTALLY HOT!" and you go "Would you let her massage you?" and he goes "TOTALLY" ask him if he's certain...
Hyper-advanced aliens might not have to send their interstellar battle fleet to conquer Earth, it might only take three bored undergraduate aliens with borrowed lab equipment.
Haha, Nice. Natalie Portman ass picking pictures. I wonder how happy she is about those. Apparently there is alot more then those.. theres alot of her being on a beach and walking around with no top or something.
"We're not retreating, we're advancing towards future victory!" - Sarge, Red vs. Blue web series.
But isn't Natalie Portman like, fifteen?
EDIT: Ok, so she's like 22, but she LOOKS fifteen...
EDIT: Ok, so she's like 22, but she LOOKS fifteen...
I'm no hero. Never was, never will be. I'm just an old killer, hired to do some wet work.
LOL
that guy RULES
as soon as I get like IRC and shit I'm ALL OVER that!
that guy RULES
as soon as I get like IRC and shit I'm ALL OVER that!
Hyper-advanced aliens might not have to send their interstellar battle fleet to conquer Earth, it might only take three bored undergraduate aliens with borrowed lab equipment.
Haha, Niiiiice. That'd be fun to do just drop into chat rooms and do shit like that.
"We're not retreating, we're advancing towards future victory!" - Sarge, Red vs. Blue web series.
It's not really a link, and its kind of old, but its funny anyway, so here you go.
----------------------------
64 Ways To Piss Off Cops
1) When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"
2) When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
3) When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
4) If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......
5) Touch him.
6) When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.
7) Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
8) Refer to him by his first name.
9) Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
10) When he says no, cry.
11) If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
12) If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
13) If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
14) When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.
15) When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first"
16) Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
17) After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say "Oops! That's the wrong name."
18) Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
19) When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it.
20) When he goes to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!"
21) Trip and fall into him.
22) Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
23) Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
24) Chew on the pen, nervously.
25) Clean your ear with the pen.
26) If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
27) Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....
28) Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
29) Act like you are retarded.
30) When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
31) Or mumble to yourself.
32) When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
33) Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight.......
34) Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
35) When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
36) Ask if he watches Cops.
37) Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
38) Giggle if he did.
39) Talk to your hand.
40) Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
41) Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
42) When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
43) When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
44) Try to sell him your car.
45) Ask if you can buy his car.
46) If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.
47) Play with the siren.
48) If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
49) If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner.
50) Oops...I meant OVER for dinner.
51) Ask if he ever had pu-tang.
52) If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
53) If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
54) When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
55) When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
56) Turn your head and whistle.
57) When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
58) If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
59) If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
60) Ask if you can see his gun.
61) When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
62) Stare at his lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!"
63) Tell him you like men in uniform.
64) Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party.
----------------------------
64 Ways To Piss Off Cops
1) When you get pulled over, say "What's wrong, ossifer, there's no blood in my alcohol?"
2) When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you wanted to race.
3) When he talks to you, pretend you are deaf.
4) If he asks if you knew how fast you were going, say no, my speedometer only goes to......
5) Touch him.
6) When he asks why you were speeding, tell him you had to buy a hat.
7) Ask him where he bought his cool hat.
8) Refer to him by his first name.
9) Pretend you are gay and ask him out.
10) When he says no, cry.
11) If he says yes, accuse him of sexual harassment.
12) If the cop is a woman, tell her how ugly she is, but in a nice way.
13) If he asks you to step out of the car, automatically throw yourself on the hood.
14) When he asks you to spread them, tell him you don't go that way.
15) When he puts the handcuffs on, say "Usually my dates buy me dinner first"
16) Ask to be fingerprinted with candy, cause you don't like ink on your fingers.
17) After you sign the ticket and give it to him, say "Oops! That's the wrong name."
18) Bribe him with donuts, and when he agrees, tell him sorry, I just ate the last one.
19) When he comes up to the car, say "License and registration, please" right when he says it.
20) When he goes to read you your rights, sing "La La La, I can't hear you!"
21) Trip and fall into him.
22) Accuse him of police brutality when he pushes you away.
23) Before you sign the ticket, pick your nose. You have to sign with his pen.
24) Chew on the pen, nervously.
25) Clean your ear with the pen.
26) If it's a click pen, take it apart and play with the spring.
27) Ask if he has a daughter. If he says yes, say I thought the name sounded familiar.....
28) Ask him if he ever worked in a prison. If he says yes, ask him how the plumbing was.
29) Act like you are retarded.
30) When he's telling you what you did wrong, start repeating him, quietly.
31) Or mumble to yourself.
32) When he tells you to stop, say what are you talkin about, DUDE?
33) Drive to Dunkin Donuts and say hmmm....only 5 of you here tonight.......
34) Ask if they know how to make the donuts.
35) When he comes to the car, say I have a badge just like yours!
36) Ask if he watches Cops.
37) Ask if ever watched Cop Rock.
38) Giggle if he did.
39) Talk to your hand.
40) Ask if he knows somone named Rosy Palm and her Five Favorite Friends.
41) Accuse him of Sexual Harassment if he does.
42) When he frisks you, say You missed a spot, and grin.
43) When he asks to inspect your car, say there is no alcohol in my car, sir, the last cop got it.
44) Try to sell him your car.
45) Ask if you can buy his car.
46) If he takes you to the station, Ask to sit in front.
47) Play with the siren.
48) If you know him, say you had his wife for dinner.
49) If you don't know him, ask if you can have his wife for dinner.
50) Oops...I meant OVER for dinner.
51) Ask if he ever had pu-tang.
52) If he asks what it is, point at him and giggle.
53) If there is someone else in the car, talk to each other in tongues.
54) When he acts confused, keep talking, look at him and laugh.
55) When you are in the back, touch his neck through the fencing.
56) Turn your head and whistle.
57) When he pulls out his night stick, say what you gonna do with that.
58) If you are female, say I don't do that on the first date.
59) If he sticks you in the back of the car, cower in the corner, suck your thumb, and whine.
60) Ask if you can see his gun.
61) When he says you aren't allowed, tell him I just wanted to see if mine was bigger.
62) Stare at his lights and say "Look at the pretty colors!"
63) Tell him you like men in uniform.
64) Ask if you can borrow his uniform for a Halloween party.
I'm no hero. Never was, never will be. I'm just an old killer, hired to do some wet work.
Hyper-advanced aliens might not have to send their interstellar battle fleet to conquer Earth, it might only take three bored undergraduate aliens with borrowed lab equipment.
Looks like little Timmy's Oreo addiction just took a big hit...
I'm no hero. Never was, never will be. I'm just an old killer, hired to do some wet work.
EDIT: For all you poor suckers who are too lazy to scroll, I'll now linkage the respective lists.
100 Reasons why its great to be a guy
50 fun things to do at Wal-mart!
20 fun things to do in a drive thru!
100 Reasons why its great to be a guy
50 fun things to do at Wal-mart!
20 fun things to do in a drive thru!
I'm no hero. Never was, never will be. I'm just an old killer, hired to do some wet work.
It came from Linksville!